You Don't Forget Your First Love
by MountaineerTookieClothespin
Summary: You don't forget your first love...at least in this case. R&J! R&R Chapter 3 is now here!
1. Will Rory Ever Forget Jess?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls show, books, products, or anything pertaining to them.

A/N: Here's a new story! I had an inspiration. Hope you like it. Please REVIEW lots! Lit all the way!!!!!!!!!!!! This is sometime after Jess left for Venice.

Rory Gilmore let out a heavy sigh and pushed her short brown hair back. She had just

gotten it cut and was still getting used to the feel of it lying softly against her jaw line. She propped her chin in her hand and gazed down at her book with a glazed expression on her face. She was sitting in her dorm room at her desk with one lamp illuminating her open book. Paris was asleep in her bed. Glancing at the clock she squinted at the darkness closing in on her lone figure. The lamp on her desk was the only light on in the room. The clock's digital letters glowed green in the darkness. It read 12:45 am.

Before another sigh could escape her, she slapped the book shut and flicked the light off. 

Pushing back her chair, she stood up and stumbled over to her bed. Morning would come quickly and with it the hustle and bustle of everyday college life that she now faced. Her classes were harder than she had anticipated they would be and she had to work much harder at it, to achieve the grades that she had in high school. Sometimes she thought she would never get used to living away from home and from the strenuous workload that starting college had dumped. so unceremoniously, into her lap.

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, a name floated through her subconscious like a wisp of a cloud. **'Jess' **

Rory struggled to push the name away. "NO!" she thought angrily. Jess was long gone and he had taken her feelings with him. Her feelings for Jess had evaporated, boarded the bus and left with him. He had left her on the brink of her adulthood life, she had just been about to graduate and in her mind leaving high school and starting college meant her carefree childhood would be left behind. She was an adult now. One who could get over heartache. Not one who would cry on her mother's shoulder and mourn her first love. Her mother might argue that he was her second love, but she had never truly been in love with Dean. She had loved him. But she had not been _in _love with him. And she was not all that grownup. She had cried on her mother's shoulder. Late that night after her graduation, when everyone had left her party. She and her mother were once again alone and she had broke down and sobbed on her mothers shoulder. Lorelai said nothing just held her amidst the paper plates and plastic cups. That was the last and only thing said between them about Jess.

She felt abandoned without him. She felt alone.

"NO!" she whispered fiercely into the cold dark night. I do not need him or want him. I am completely over him!" Or so she liked to tell herself.

A/N: I know it's short but it felt like a good place to end for now. Do you guys want another chapter? Let me know what you thought. I guess this could be considered an intro. Please keep the reviews G rated with no bleeped out with stars, implied, or actual cuss words! Thanks!


	2. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls show, books, characters, or anything like that.

A/N: I am so sorry for the lack of updates lately. But you guys remember to do your part and leave lots of reviews. J Plus I don't watch the new episodes of Gilmore Girls anymore so my stories have nothing to do with what is going on in season 5.

Rory groaned as the alarm beside her head emitted a very loud, annoying, and insistent beeping.

"It so cannot be time to get up yet." Rory whined as she rolled over to face her bedside table with her eyes still shut.

"Rise and shine. You knew morning would come quickly, you shouldn't have stayed up studying so late. Your lamp didn't go out until close to one o'clock." Paris complained as she left the room.

Rory slowly opened her eyes and admitted a horrified scream.

Paris ran back into the room. "Oh my gosh! What? What's wrong?"

Rory sat bolt upright in bed and stared at her bedside table in shock. "How did that get there?"

Paris wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about?"

"That picture!" Rory pointed a shaky finger to the head shot of Jess, actually smiling at the camera, that was propped up on the table facing her.

"Oh that. I found it on the floor this morning. I guess it fell out of one of those books you unpacked from home yesterday. Who is he by the way?"

Rory closed her eyes as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. She twisted the corner of her blue sheet around her hand as she gazed at Paris. "He's my ex."

"Oh." For one of the first times in her life, Paris was speechless at the naked pain showing on Rory's face.

"You should probably get to class or you'll be late." Rory half whispered.

Paris nodded her head and quickly disappeared out the door.

Rory jumped up and gasped when her feet hit the cold wood floor. For some reason no matter how warm it was outside, their floor always felt like ice underneath bare feet.

Moving as fast as she could in her present numb state of emotions, she snatched the photograph up and slid it into one of her desk drawers. Everything on her desk looked the same as the night before, and now Rory felt the same as the night before.

She had been hoping that she could escape Jess's memory for today at least. But that was obviously not to be the case. She gripped the edge of her desk as memories washed over her in tandem… Her and Jess at the park reading, her and Jess at the Diner eating dinner together. Every memory was painful to her now. Lorelai had told her that these unwelcome memories would fade in importance and pain, but they were as sharp as always.

She tried to shake her thoughts off and got ready for class as quickly as she could. Just as she was going out the door, her cellphone range.

"Hello?"

"Hello, O daughter of mine."

"Mom?"

"Does anyone else call you, O daughter of mine?" Lorelai asked in return.

Rory laughed for the first time in days. "I guess not. What's up? I'm heading to my first class right now."

"I was checking in on you, making sure you were okay. You are okay aren't you?"

"I'll be fine, mom."

"I'll be fine, isn't fine as in I'm fine right now, mom." Lorelai said with concern tinging her tone.

"It's just the same old thing." Rory answered and described the waking up she had received.

"Oh, hun."

"I don't want your sympathy about this right now, mom. I have to learn to get over it and move on with my life. In fact I am moving on with my life, it's just that a bunch of stuff reminds me of Jess, especially his picture." Rory explained patiently, while she impatiently pushed away another wave of memories, this time of the last time she saw him. His I love you still rang in her ears, late at night when she couldn't sleep.

"Well, I'm at class, mom, so I have to get off now."

"Okay, sweets, you're coming home tonight for the weekend aren't you?" Lorelai asked eagerly.

Rory hesitated for a fraction of a second to long.

"Rory?"

"Yes, I'm coming home. I'll see you tonight. Bye, mom."

Lorelai heard the dial tone before she could get another word out. Sighing deeply, with lines of sadness showing across her face, she stared at the phone. "Oh, Rory."

A/N: Hoped you guys liked it. Leave a review please. Keep them clean though. Thanks!


	3. She would, wouldn't she?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls show ideal, books, characters, or anything like that.

A/N: Lorelai and Luke don't know about Jess and Rory talking when Jess came back to town to get his car. Luke and Lorelai are not together.

Lorelai hopped into the diner on one foot, her hand tugging at her the top of her boot.

Luke stopped what he was doing and stared at her. "What in the world are you doing? Or should I even ask?"

"Haha. Very funny, flannel man. Something was scratching my leg and I was trying to fix it." Lorelai replied as she plopped down on a stool at the counter.

Luke just raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "I think that you get stranger by the day."

She just wrinkled her nose at him and picked up the clean coffee mug that was sitting in front of her. "Give me coffee now!"

Rolling his eyes, he sighed in defeat and set the pot in front of her. "Here I give up. Just take the pot. You're going to bug me until you drink the whole thing anyway."

"Yes! I win!" Lorelai threw her arms up in the arm, hopping off of her stool to do a happy dance and sat back down when she noticed that no one was celebrating with her. She pushed the pot away from her and shook her head. "Nah. Take it back, it's no fun when Rory's not here."

Luke shook his head and leaned slightly on the counter. "Speaking of Rory, she hasn't been home in a while. How's she doing?"

Lorelai gazed at the counter for a minute and then around at the crowded diner. "She'll be fine." She replied nonchalantly, but Luke could easily detect that something was wrong.

"What do you mean, she'll be fine? Be fine, isn't saying that she is fine. Is college getting to hard for her to handle?"

Lorelai sat up straighter and glared slightly. "I don't want to talk about it. And, no, college isn't getting to hard for her. She's getting all A's actually."

"Well, I do want to talk about it. You know Rory's like a daughter to me. What's wrong? Even when she has been home, which she hasn't in the past month, she doesn't seem like herself when she comes in here."

Lorelai rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. "Think about it, Luke."

"Huh? Think about what?"

"Why wouldn't Rory be the same when she comes in here of all places?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Luke asked disgruntled.

Lorelai leaned closer to him and half whispered. "Jess, Luke."

"What! What do you mean? He isn't even here. What are you talking about?"

"She has never gotten over Jess. Gee, Luke, keep up why don't ya."

"But…" Luke trailed off and a helpless look crossed his features.

"I don't know why either, Luke. Except that she really was in love with him. Still is, if I had to guess."

"I don't even know what to say." Luke responded quietly.

"Don't blame yourself, Luke. Have you even heard from him?"

"Not since he came back for his car about six months back. Why?"

"I just wondered. Rory seemed to get worse after that visit. I don't know if seeing him around town, upset her that much or what."

"Did they talk? Cause if they did he didn't tell me." Luke said.

"I don't think so. I mean she didn't say anything about that. She would have told me wouldn't she have?"

"I don't know. Would she?"

Luke and Lorelai stared at each other for a moment wondering silently if maybe the two of them had talked.

A/N: What did you guys think? Hope you liked it. Please leave Reviews and let me know.


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